Some Things Duct Tape Can't Fix
by Remembering-Sunday514
Summary: Sequel to Story of my Life. Kendall comes home from Michigan after his relationship with James crashes and burns. Will they be able to get back together or be able to even be friends again? Neither of them knows how much the other is missing them and it's tearing them both apart inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Logan**

"James? Are you ok? You haven't hardly said a word all day?" I know that it's a stupid question to ask but I feel like I need to help in some way. Carlos and I have been able to work through our own issues. A few weeks back we took a road trip just for the hell of it, just the two of us. I was really worried about leaving James here all by himself but he managed.

I frown at Carlos before I move from my spot on the bed to the floor where James is sitting, staring at his lap, and prompt him once more, "James?"

I jump slightly in surprise when he snaps his head up to look at me, "Hey, buddy, whatcha thinkin about?" I ask even though I know the answer.

"Oh, just school. You know it starts in about a week and a half?" That's not what you're thinking about James and you know it.

"Yeah, I know." I want so bad to make him tell me who he is thinking about but I can't. Not after I'm part of the reason why that someone is gone. The guilt of that haunts me every single day and I beat myself but for being the part of the reason why the only person James confessed to loving is gone. If only I hadn't been so weak. If only neither of us had been so weak Kendall would still be here.

After a long silence James stands and stretches and I hear his joints popping in protest, "Well, I'm just gonna head out. I gotta go to the store and pick up some more lined paper anyways." He turns to leave.

I jump to my feet just as he is reaching my bedroom door, "James!" I more scream it than say it.

He turns to me with a confused glance, "Yeah?"

I hesitate and shift awkwardly on my feet, "Um," I drop my gaze to the floor, "If you need someone to talk to, you know that me and Carlos are always here for you."

I look up at him now to see him just nod and shoot each of us the most pathetic smile I have seen in a long time. James had, or seemed to have, gotten better after a month of Kendall being gone but now that Kendall was going to be coming back in less than two weeks James hadn't been acting himself again. I know that he is scared and I know that he still loves Kendall. He hadn't even looked at another person since Kendall left.

"Logan?" I look up to see my beautiful boyfriend sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at me worried.

"Yeah, babe?" I ask him in a hushed voice.

"You know everything is going to be alright, don't you?"

I move so that I'm straddling his lap, my knees resting on the mattress on each side of his hips, my elbows on his shoulders, one hand tangled in his hair, the other falling behind him, and I kiss him gently before answering, "Yeah, I'm just worried that James is going to do something he regrets." I don't have to tell Carlos what I think that something might be. We have talked about it many times before.

"You know that James won't hurt himself." He kisses my lips before he continues, "But if you want we can take pizza to him for dinner tonight, just to check up on him."

I nod, "Yeah that would be good." I receive another kiss that last longer this time and is filled with more passion.

**Kendall**

I look at the table that rests beside my bed and stare at my phone. It's been taunting me for the past three days. After my mom found out that I had been talking to Logan after I had gotten to Michigan she blocked James, Logan, and Carlos' numbers. A few days ago she called me and said that she unblocked them and that I could talk to them all I want. Yeah, if only they wanted to talk to me.

I'm going back to Minnesota in less than two weeks and I'm flipping out. I'm about to have a fucking panic attack. I stand up and wander over to my full length mirror and stare at my reflection. At first I hated the fact that my mom had sent me here but now looking back it probably was the best thing she could have done. Why do moms always have to be fucking right?

I've put on a good amount of weight. I've filled out nicely. I lift up my shirt and stare at the scars that have long been healed. When I got here I cut more than I ever had. I hated everyone for taking me away from James before I could even get a chance to fix anything. Then they blocked his number so I couldn't even call him and try to talk to him. Ok, I probably would have done it any ways because I'm a huge pussy. That's beside the point!

I turn to my phone when I hear it vibrate on the bed side table signaling that I have a text. I pick it up realizing that it's from Katie and she says, 'Hey mom is about to call. Prepare yourself for this one.' I don't even get a chance to reply to my sister when the house phone begins to ring. Shit. This can't be good.

I sit on my bed fiddling with my phone as I listen to my Aunt Robin answer the phone. They talk for a few minutes about nothing of importance before I hear her coming towards my room. I take a deep breath preparing myself for whatever is about to go down. It must be a big deal with Katie had to warn me about it first.

She knocks gently before she comes into my room and holds the phone out to me as she says, "Hey, kid, you're mom wants to talk to you."

I take it from her with a smile and say a quiet thank you before I hold the phone to my ear. "Hello?" My aunt walks out of the room as the conversation begins.

"_Hi, Kendall, how are you sweetie?" _Alright, I'm confused. Katie said prepare myself. Mom seems in an ok mood.

"Um. I'm good. What about you?" I can almost taste the hesitance in my voice.

"I'm pretty good. I had a visitor today." A pause. Oh, God. Not good.

When she didn't continue I prompted her gently, "Ok?"

"It was James." My heart stopped. Yes, I think about James a lot but I haven't talked about him out loud since a month or so since I came to Michigan. I had talked about him briefly to my aunt but not in a long time. I certainly haven't talked about him with my mom since I had left.

I tried my best to sound uninterested but on the inside it was like a natural disaster was happening, "Oh, what did he want?" Success!

"Oh, nothing really, he wanted to know if we needed any help since you weren't around." Another pause and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. When my mom spoke again her voice was low and sad, "Kendall, he asked about you. I'm really not sure what went on between you two but you can't stop talking to each other. He needs you Kendall and its killing him not having you around."

I open my mouth to say something, though I have no idea what it is. Thankfully she beats me to it. "You better call that boy Kendall. Before you're ass gets on that plane next week." Click.

I pull the phone away to look at it before it put it back to my ear. I pull it away once again and end the call. "She hung up on me!"

I throw myself back onto my bed and for the first time in a long time I feel numb. James is going to be the death of me. Were best friends, not lovers, or at least that what I keep telling myself. Didn't Romeo and Juliet prove that if you're not supposed to be together it's going to kill you in the end? I think this suicide is just being drawn out in torture.

**James**

I'm pacing my room after I got home from Kendall's house. What the _fuck _was I thinking going over there? I told myself that I would have nothing to do with him. I throw my head back and my shoulders fall forward, I just can't stop thinking about him. He has always been there, for everything. How the hell do I think that I'm going to be fine just going on without him? Fuck, I hate myself sometimes.

I jump when I hear the front door open. I stand still and listen carefully for any sign of who it might be.

"Hi, boys, how are ya?" I hear my mom ask and I know right away who it is.

"Good, what about you?" I hear Logan ask.

"Good." My mom replies.

"We brought pizza." Carlos says.

I smile and my stomach growls. I hate it that I'm even hungry when I'm upset. I'm almost just as bad as Carlos and his eating habits. Boy could eat anything and everything. I really do love these two with all my heart. At first I was pissed at Logan for what he did but I got over it when he explained the situation. Carlos and him had been going through a rough patch and when he turned his head he accidently kissed Kendall. He told me that it was just an impulse thing and it would never happen again. He had no feelings for Kendall in that way. I understand that feeling because I had had it with Kendall as well the first time I kissed him at work. I was upset and I felt vulnerable and I'm guessing that is exactly how Logan felt.

"James is in his room. Just don't make a mess with the food, ok boys?" I hear my mom say.

They both reply with an ok as they make their way to my room.

**Carlos **

I follow Logan down the hall way to James' room. I really hope he is ok. He hasn't been himself lately. Ok, let me fix that. He hasn't been himself since Kendall left. Then a few days ago he got even worse. I think he is flipping out about what is going to happen when Kendall does come back. I'm honestly kind of scared to find out what happens myself but I have to be strong for my friends, even Kendall. I was pissed at him for kissing my Logan but I have long gotten over it. I'm not one to hold a grudge.

Logan opens James' door and we both wander in. I smile when I see James standing there. He actually looks happy to see us. That's good.

"Hey, buddy. Whatcha up to?" I ask him then follow his gaze that he has on the pizza box in my hand. He lunges forward and I turn on my heel to protect the food from him. I grunt as he crashes into my back.

"Damn James. Have you not eaten in a week?" I ask as I turn back around and hand him the box hoping he can control himself.

"Nah, I haven't eaten since 10:30 today." He sits on his bed and opens the box before pulling out a slice of the pizza. I look at the clock next to his bed and realize that it has been a while since he has eaten. It's almost 6:00 now. I grab Logan's hand and I lead him on to James' bed where we sit and both grab our own slices.

After a moment of silence and chewing Logan finally speaks up, "So, James, what did you do after you left my house this morning?"

I didn't miss how James froze before quickly recovering and taking another bite of his food, probably trying to stall from answering the question. I glance at Logan and he is watching James intently and I know that he didn't miss James' slip up either. James swallows before he glances between me and Logan.

He looks down at his lap and takes a deep breath, "Um, I went, uh, to Kendall's." His voice gets quieter with each and every word and I almost missed when he squeaked out Kendall's name.

I was still in shock when Logan began chocking next to me and says, "You went where?!"

James looks down at the pizza before he mumbles out, "Kendall."

I take in a deep breath not really knowing where this is going. I have no idea what to do or say so I take another large mouthful of my pizza hoping that Logan with take care of the situation.

"Ok." Logan pauses, "And how did that go? How was his mom?"

James finally looks up at Logan and says, "She is good. Happy that Kendall is coming home soon. It honestly went good. It was nice seeing her and Katie again."

"Yeah, I haven't been over there in a while." Logan says.

"She had me help her make Kendall's bed." He pauses, "It was torture and kind of nice at the same time. His room still smells like him. I want to see him so bad but after what I did to him I can't bring myself to even text him. I was just pissed at everything when I did that. I was pissed at what happened between you two," He gestures at Logan with the hand that wasn't holding his half gone piece of pizza before he continues, "Then I was pissed that he was leaving me and he didn't even tell me anything about it. I had to find it out from you guys."

I can tell that James is getting pissed just thinking about it and I have no idea what to say to him. All I can do at this point is prepare myself for what is yet to come.

**Ok, guys! Here it is! The first chapter of this sequel. It took me so long to write this and I hope it isn't bad. Please let me know what you think and tell me if it's worth to keep going. Thank you Charlie-Rose94 for your suggestion! I took it! And thank you Winterschild11 and isitaloversbtr for your support of the first part of this story! I hope you all enjoy the second part! Let me know what you all think! Please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Kendall**

"Kendall, come and get the rest of your clothes and finish packing!" I could hear my aunt yelling at me from down the hall. I leave in less than an hour to hop on a plane back to Minnesota. I can feel my anxiety rising by the second. Is it bad that I'm scared to see my own mother? The last time I saw her she was so pissed. She picked James over me! Well, kind of, still enough that it hurt.

"Coming!" I call as I hop off my bed to retrieve the last of my clothing. I grab the folded linen off of the counter before heading back down to the bed room I have occupied for the past three months. I set the small pile onto my bed before I shut my door gently and look around the room. It looks so odd now that I have taken the few posters I had up down and it's bare of all of my objects. The drawers and closet are now bare. I sigh before I pack everything neatly into my suitcase.

An hour and a half later I'm standing in front of the airport with my aunt. I pull her into a hug, "Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." Though, it did help me but I'm afraid that this relief won't last long once I'm back in Minnesota, less than 5 minutes away from James. But, God, I miss him so much.

I shake my head getting rid of those haunting thoughts as Robin lets me go, "You are so welcome Kendall. Don't ever hesitate coming back if you need to."

I look over my shoulder into the Detroit Airport then back to her, "I won't."

"Alright, kid, you better get going. You don't want to be late to the plane." I nod once more and my heart breaks when I see the tears forming in my aunts eyes.

"Ok, I'll call you when I land so that you know I made it." I say, hoping to comfort her some.

She nods at me and I feel that she can't speak around her tears. I hug her once more before I'm readjusting my backpack on my shoulders and my suitcase in my hand.

Sitting on the plane and knowing that I'm going back to the life that pushed me to Michigan my heart begins to pound in my chest. I'm terrified that I'm going to go back to the way that I was. Cutting, starving, always confused. I can already feel the confusion coming back. Fuck. I want to see and touch James again so bad but I'm worried that he won't want me and I have now reason why he should. If there is one thing that I did find out while I was gone is that I can't live without James. I couldn't go one day without thinking about him and how much I miss him. I need him. I just hope that he needs me.

**Carlos**

"James, will you _please _stop pacing? You're making me nervous." I'm sitting on my bed with my Anatomy and Physiology book in my lap, fucking hell of a class. I have a test in a few days, I love summer classes, and James hasn't left my house in two days.

I continue reading as James throws back his head and lets out a growl, "Carlos. Why do I care so fucking much?" Because you love Kendall? James would probably strangle me if I said that out loud.

"Um, because you're best friend in the whole wide world is coming home and you can't wait to see him?" I say knowing that this is more than likely the last thing that James wanted me to say, I still don't look up from my book.

I'm repaid with another growl and I bounce slightly when James throws himself down next to me. I look at him and raise my brows. He is lying face down clutching the comforter, "What are you doing?" I ask him.

"Trying to suffocate myself." I can barely understand his muffled voice but I catch it and roll my eyes letting out a gentle laugh.

I pat his shoulder as I say, "Sorry, James, but I doubt that is a successful form of suicide."

I know that this may seem insensitive but I promise we have been through this many times over the past week, though, this is the first time James has 'tried' to suffocate himself. I know how much he is flipping out and I know that he still loves Kendall. He is scared of what is going to happen when Kendall comes back, and I don't blame him. To be honest, I'm kind of scared myself, for what might happen to my friends.

I know that Kendall and I haven't spoken since before he left but I do still care about him and I hope that both of them come out of this alive.

**Logan**

I let my head fall back and the water rushes over my neck and down my chest. Hmm, it feels so good. I know that James is flipping out but I don't think he should be. Kendall isn't going to leave home tonight. I doubt that anyone will see him for the first few days.

I've wanted to text him and ask him when he is supposed to be coming in but I know that Ms. Knight had blocked all of our numbers. She had told us when she did it. I don't know if she had unblocked them.

I know it's not like me to sit back and go with the flow but I've noticed that it works well for Carlos so I think instead of or analyzing this situation I will play by ear and hop in when I'm needed, that shouldn't be too long. I just hope there isn't any physical violence. Neither James nor Kendall are known for their cool tempers; nope, definitely not.

I jump back and screech before turning the water off. I must have been in here a hell of a lot longer than I thought that I had been if the water went cold on me. Damn.

**James**

I'm still lying on Carlos' bed when 3 o'clock rolls around. The only idea I have for when Kendall is going to be home is that Ms. Knight said that he would be home sometime in the afternoon. Well, it's afternoon and no one has heard anything, not that I'm surprised. I didn't expect Kendall to send out a mass text to all of us announcing his return home. Kendall has always been kind of shy, though, I'm not used to it when he is shy towards me.

I turn off the TV in Carlos' room and throw the remote down next to me. Why the hell does the take so long in the shower? You know what? I don't want to know.

I look to the side and see that his iPod is on the docking station that is beside his bed. I pressed the play button allowing the first song to play at random. The music began and it was slow and smooth. I know this song but I can't think of the name of it. Where the hell have I heard it before?

As soon as I recognize it I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and I'm about to rip the iPod off of the dock to make it stop but I can't bring myself to do it, not yet.

_Young and full of running_

_Tell me where is there taking me? _

_Just a great figure eight_

_Or a tiny infinity? _

I suddenly know exactly where I heard it before. Kendall had put the song on my iPod years ago and I had only listened to it a few times before…God, it's so hard to even think about this. I had deleted the song after Kendall left because I never wanted to remember what it felt like having his body pressed against mine and remembering his moans. I'm standing and I'm back to my pacing thinking about how I felt with him.

I was always so happy with Kendall but us being together I guess wasn't the best thing in the world. To be honest though, I know I would take him back in a heartbeat because no matter how much I deny it out loud I know that I'm absolutely in love with him and that is why I cried. I know it kind of freaked him out, me crying in the middle of sex, kind of freaked me out too. I remember telling Kendall to look at me and when he finally did I couldn't help but put that picture in my permanent memory. I never want to forget how beautiful his eyes are.

I rip the iPod off of the dock and throw it onto the bed not allowing the song to continue. I have to stop thinking about Kendall like this. It's been 3 fucking _months _and me of all fucking people can't get over one person.

Carlos walks into his room at that moment in just his boxers and a towel hanging from his hand at his side. I take three huge strides to him and before he even has a chance to comprehend what is happening I'm putting a hand on each side of his face and I'm kissing him, hard. It doesn't even last long enough for the poor Latino to make a move before I'm pushing past him and yelling, "Yup, I'm a used slut and that's all I'll ever be!" I slam the front door to his house before hopping in my car and driving away, not knowing exactly where I'm going, but knowing exactly where I want to go.

**Well, that was not where I was expecting this to go, at all. I know it was kind of boring but I didn't want to just jump into the whole thing. Please let me know what you all think in a review or a PM. I really appreciate it. If you have any suggestions or ideas don't hesitate to tell me! **

** Thank you so much to Winterschild11 and No-Emotions-To-Cry for the reviews. I love reading them. And thank you Jamesmaslowlover and Overdramatic for favoring and following. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I just want to say thank you for the reviews! **

** Winterschild11: Yes, mass confusion! I'm about to write this chapter and even I'm not quite sure how this is going to go down! I'm excited! Thank you for all of your reviews! You're amazing! **

** No-Emotions-To-Cry: Yes, I agree that Kendall deserves what he has coming to him thank you for your reviews and for the ones that you left for Story of my Life. They made me smile! **

** Thank you to everyone who reads and Jamesmaslowlover and Overdramatic for the favs and follows. You are all amazing! **

** Ok, on with the story! I hope you all enjoy! **

**Kendall**

"So, how was it there, honey? You said that you had met a few people you're age that you hung out with some?" My mom asks me as we are driving down my road and to my house from the airport. I can already feel the worry settling over me because I want to see my friends so bad but I'm not sure if they want to see me and to be honest, that kind of breaks my heart. God, I'm such a pussy.

"Yeah," I respond back to mom's questions, "I will for sure miss them. They were great." I smile at her because I want her to know that I am feeling better and that I'm ok. "Speaking of them I told Camille that I would text her when I got home." I pull out my phone and open a blank text, telling my phone to send the message to Camille, '_Hey, you, I made it to Minnesota. So far so good! I hope you're right about my friends not hating me!' _Send!

"Who are you talking to?" My mom asks and I can detect the small amount of hurt in her voice.

"Oh, Camille told me to text her when I got home to make sure that my plane didn't go down or anything." I say with a smile back to my mom and I feel like I need to tell her something else. I really did miss her so much, "It's really good to see you again mom." I smile at her and she glances at me for a split second, not wanting to take her eyes off the road for too long.

"I missed you too, baby, so much." She reaches over and pinches my cheek, I hate it when she does that but I let her.

We turn into my drive way and I'm thinking about everything that I haven't seen in three months. My animals, my guitar, my own bed, my – my mouth drops open as I spot a car sitting in the driveway besides mine and I feel my mom practically slam on the break as she sees it as well.

"Shit, James" I am looking around myself frantically trying to find anything to commit suicide with. Maybe I can jump out of the moving vehicle and run.

Mom steps on the gas again going up the long drive way faster than I was comfortable with guessing that my death is awaiting me at the end. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck! _I'm so dead!

As we pull into the garage there is no sign of James other than his car and I'm guessing he is waiting inside, since you know, we apparently don't make a habit of locking our doors when we leave, never have, and probably never will. Maybe I should change that since my friends are psycho! Ok, maybe I'm the psycho one. I haven't figured it out yet.

I feel myself begin to panic as I step out of the car and I grab my bags from the back seat. I stop in front of the door and I feel my mom's hand on the center of my back and she speaks softly to me, trying to calm my racing heart, "you knew that you were going to have to face him sometime after you got back. Maybe it's better now than later. Just get it over with."

I gulp down some air before I open the door and push inside. The house is silent and it's a little eerie. I'm waiting for James to jump out, wielding a butcher knife, ready to kill. Ok, I know that he wouldn't ever actually hurt me. He would have done it long ago if he was going to, though, I'm pretty sure that this is different than anything else we have ever been through.

I stop in the mudroom and my mom pushes past me to go up the stairs into the house first, "Hi, James. How are you honey?" My mom calls out and my eyes widen, no mom! Don't call the beast!

"I'm good! How are you?" I hear James call back and I'm pretty sure his voice is coming from my room. What the hell? Though, I can't help but notice the flutter that my heart gives as I listen to that perfect voice. It hasn't changed a bit and I missed it so much. Suddenly my knees feel weak and all I want to do is run to James and have him hold me, but I know that that will never happen again. I feel my heart sink.

I look up from setting my bags down when I hear footsteps coming from the living room and I freeze. I watch as James scans my body and I do the same to him taking in everything that has changed in just three months. He has cut his hair and he has it spiked up, his face is thinner and he hasn't shaved, his shoulders and chest broader than I remember them being, and that is not something I would have forgotten. I had memorized James' body.

**James**

I know that my mouth is hanging open as I take in Kendall, but he is even more beautiful than the day that he left. He has filled out since he has gained back the weight that he had lost, his hair is a lighter blonde, I'm sure from being bleached from the sun, and he is slightly tan. God, I've missed him so damn much.

No! I snap my mouth shut, and I hear my teeth clamp together. I stand up a bit straighter as anger begins to flare inside me and Kendall does the same, though he is putting his hands out in front of him in a defensive manor. I can feel Ms. Knights eyes on us and I feel kind of bad for what I'm about to do in front of her.

I lunge forward and Kendall is turning fast on his heel, probably expecting this from me, and he is down the stairs and out the door through the garage. I'm hot on his trail, but damn he is fucking fast! As I bust through the door I hear his mom screaming, "James, don't kill him!" I don't react to her words, I won't kill him, I could never do that, but that don't mean I won't attack him.

As I chase him down his drive way I'm getting closer until I see Carlos' car pulling into the drive way. Its ok, Carlos won't hit us, I don't slow down and neither does Kendall. Carlos stops in the middle of the driveway and Kendall is running around his car before- "Oof!"

I stumble backwards and grab at my chest, the air being knocked right out of my lungs. I glance up to see the door that I had just ran into and Carlos standing behind it with slightly shocked eyes. I take in a deep breath finally recovering and look to see Logan getting out on the other side of the car. Kendall in standing at the back of the car panting, and I'm doing the same at the front of the car.

I take a few steps forward, my eyes never leaving Kendall's and I know that he is slightly scared for his life, because I can feel that my eyes are dark and I can feel my heart pumping the adrenaline through my veins. I'm moving around the driver side door and Carlos is standing in front of me with his hands up but I'm able to look right over his head, "James, take a deep breath, it's fine, everything is going to be fine." The small Latino stops and his hands are firmly against my chest and we're pushing against each other. I see Logan move to stand in front of Kendall and he is looking at me with dark eyes.

"Move." I say through my teeth and Logan shakes his head. I push forward and Carlos stumbles back and holds onto my shirt to balance himself.

"James. Carlos is right. Let's talk about this." Logan says his voice soothing.

I see something switch in Kendall's eyes and he stands up straighter and he is moving around Logan, his eyes locked on mine dangerously.

**Carlos**

I hear footsteps from behind me and I see something like fear flash quickly across James face before its back to his stern stare. I glance over my shoulder to see Kendall moving around Logan and the brunette is trying to grab at his wrist to hold him back but Kendall shakes him off.

I turn so that my back is now to James and Kendall is standing inches from me, able to look right over my head. This is not the place to be or the time to be short. Shit.

I can see behind Kendall that Logan is right behind him ready to grab if he tries to throw a punch.

"Yeah, James, how about we talk about this? About how you came to my house the night that I was supposed to leave and you forced yourself on me before walking away." Kendall says his voice low and menacing.

"Don't act like you're the victim here, Blondie!" Oh, God, Kendall hate's being called that. I move from between them slightly fearing for my own life and I'm behind James, not touching him, but ready to grab like Logan is. Why do our best friends have to be such hot heads? "You're the one that fucked me over! I dropped everything for you! I stopped seeing other people, stopped sleeping around, giving myself to you and only you! Don't you realize that you're the only one that I've always wanted? Kendall you were," he pauses before he takes another step forward and I brace myself for what he is going to do but he stops, "you are everything to me. I didn't go one day here without thinking about you." James' voice had turned into something much less threatening and he was almost pleading with Kendall to understand him.

Kendall averted his eyes with a scoff and crossed his arms over his chest, his hands still balled into fists, "Yeah, right James. I'm the one that had to sit back and watch you whore around with everyone else in this town!" Kendall sounded hurt but I know that he was trying to cover it up, he was never the one to look weak in front of everyone, though, he wasn't as good at is as James was.

"That's right! I am a whore! That's why I kissed Carlos this morning," Oh, shit! I hadn't told Logan yet! I'm so screwed. I looked around James and Logan was looking at me with slightly hurt eyes and I gave him a pleading looking mouthing, 'I'll explain.' He just looked away and I felt my heart sink slightly. Not like he could talk. He fucking made out with Kendall. James just kissed me and I had nothing to do with it!

Kendall's eyes opened slightly in shock before returning to normal, "Well, way to go around and do that when we never actually broke up James!" Kendall screamed.

"You stopped being mine the second you left without having any intentions in telling me, you left me Kendall! You fucking left me and didn't give me any explanation. Do you understand what that did to me?"

**Logan **

I look down at my feet feeling slightly awkward. I feel like I'm listening in on an extremely privet conversation but I don't want to draw attention to myself by walking away. It really hurt when James said that he had kissed Carlos but I know that I have no room to talk.

"James, I will never stop being yours." With that I watched as Kendall pushed past James and walked to the house, not giving one glance back.

We stood in silence for a few moments as James watched Kendall's retreating back down his long ass driveway. I finally couldn't take the pressure anymore, "Um, Carlos, maybe we should head back to my house."

My Latino nodded before he patted James on the shoulder and got back into his car, starting the engine. I took a few steps forward and James met my eyes, "You going to be ok, buddy?" I ask him with slight concern.

"Yeah, I'm goin home." He said but he didn't move.

"You can come to my place with me and 'Los if you want?" I ask hoping that he will be ok. I know that what Kendall said last to him really cut deep.

"Nah, I'll be fine." He went to turn but I grabbed his arm and he looked at me.

"Just calm down and rest, tomorrow we will sort things out some more." I offered him a weak smile and he returned it, though I know it wasn't genuine. I let him go and he slowly walked down the driveway and back to his car.

I hopped into Carlos car and I let out a deep breath trying to calm myself. I looked over at Carlos who was looking at me with apologetic eyes, "Babe, don't look at me like that. It's fine. I'm not mad at you."

"I just want to explain." Carlos said and we both looked forward, Kendall finally turning into his garage and James still walking back to his car, "James was a wreck and I don't know what happened but I got out of the shower and when I walked into my room he kissed me so fast I couldn't even react before he said something about being a slut. I'm not sure where it came from but I think his past is finally catching up to him, Logan."

"I know, babe. It's ok. We are going to be there for him, and we have to be there for Kendall too." I say as I look down in my lap after James got into his car and turned around, "Let's back out so James can leave, I know he doesn't want to be here any longer than he has too."

Carlos nodded before he looked at me and said, "We good?"

"Yeah, babe, were good." I smile and lean forward and he meet's me half way with a small peck to the lips before he smiles back at me before backing out of the drive way.

**Wow, ok! Tell me what you all think! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Kendall**

I am jarred into consciousness by a stinging in my right cheek. I snap my eyes open to see Carlos' glaring eyes staring down at me. "What the _fuck_?" I scream as my hand touches the assaulted flesh.

"How could you, Kendall?" He screams at me and I'm so confused, but soon I hear multiple sets of footsteps coming towards my room.

I jump out of my bed not sure where this is going but I'm seething and I'm ready for what was bound to happen. I'm honestly extremely surprised that punches weren't thrown yesterday. My fists are clenched at my sides as I stare down at a still glaring Carlos and say, "How could I what?" Though, I have a pretty good idea of what he really means.

"How could you just leave? How could you not have faith in James? How could you leave and not give any of us answers or say goodbye. You just left!" Carlos has his fists clenched now as well and he is leaning forward. Out of my peripheral vision I see Logan and James standing in my doorway and I know that this isn't going to end well, but how dare Carlos come in here and talk to me like I wanted this, like I planned for this to happen, like I ever wanted to leave them? I'm terrified and I just want things to go back to the way they were.

As these thoughts run through my mind I feel hurt and anger build up inside of me and I snap. I lunge forward and bring Carlos to the ground, straddling his hips to keep him from getting away. Before I know what I'm doing I'm bringing back my fist ready to assault him before I feel a pair of strong arms around my middle and their pulling me off of the smaller male.

My body is kicking and thrashing trying to get out of this hold but my mind and heart are racing knowing that this is where I have wanted to be fore three long months, right back in these arms. It's killing me to know that this is the first time that James has touched me since then, and it breaks me knowing that this is why he is touching me, only to keep me from beating one of my best friends to a pulp.

Soon I'm screaming, my voice high pitched and cracking, while still trying to break free, I can't keep this pent up inside and allow my friends to think for one fucking second that I ever wanted to leave them, "What? You think I wanted to leave here? None of you asked once why I was so skinny. Logan was the only one who ever checked to see if I was cutting again, but that was only once, you all think just because I don't cry in front of you or that I try to hold it all together that I'm not shattering. My own mother sent me away for my aunt to try and 'fix' me and the second I come back here everything falls apart again." I can feel the tears coming now and I'm beginning to lose power, James has always been stronger than me and as I speak I can feel him tightening his grip around my small torso even though my struggling has lessened, "And yes, I had issued trusting James but it's not that I thought he would cheat on me, it's because I thought that he is so much better than me in every fucking way and I was terrified that he would find someone else because he can have any one he wants."

**James**

I pull Kendall close to me as his voice cracks off and every truth comes out. Not everything, but lots of questions are answered and I don't know what to say or do so I continue to hold my blonde and I bring him close to my chest. I'm not restraining him anymore because his body has given up the fight, but he continues to scream and every word breaks my heart a little more. Soon I'm not allowing myself to hear the words any more, just the sound of his voice and how broken it really is due to the exertion. I look over his shoulder to see Carlos still on the floor staring up at Kendall in extreme shock, Logan kneeling beside him.

Kendall is losing his fight and I can feel it leaving his body and voice. Soon he is using me as a crutch and I'm lowering both of us to the floor and he is in the child's pose as I hold him close to my chest, and I begin rocking us both back and forth, hiding my face in his bare back, breathing in his scent. "It's ok, I've got you, nothing is going to happen, and we are going to fix everything."

Even as I speak these words I'm not sure if they are true or not but I know that I have to somehow console the one person that I always have, and always will love.

Well, I'm back to square one, ok technically square two, since, admittedly, I really never knew how much I loved Kendall until he had told me how he really felt. He said a few days ago when he got home that he never stopped being mine when he left. To be honest, that scared me. Not at the moment, but now, thinking back on what has happened the past few days, I'm terrified of what we are, what is happening, not only to me and Kendall, but what we have done to Carlos and Logan.

I bring a pillow over my face and let out a deep growl into it. Everything is so frustrating and I don't know what to do. You know when you were little and you would see the older kids walk by and you would always think 'I can't wait to be just like them"? Fuck. That. Shit. No, I don't want to be an older kid any more. I don't care how juvenile this sounds but it's so true. Everything was so simple when we were young. I didn't spend hours trying to figure out my next move.

I throw my pillow off to the side when I hear my phone vibrate on my bed side table, telling me that someone has sent me a text. I hesitate before I grab it and quickly read the text from, oh, not to horrible, Logan.

'_Hey buddy. How you doin? I really think you should go and talk to Kendall. It's been two days. He is probably cooled off by now.' _

Oh, God. I knew that this would be coming and I'm about to chicken out. Fuck.

"_Is that really a good idea to send me over there by myself? I mean you know our tempers." _ I type back to him quickly hoping that he will come with me. God, I'm such a wimp, can't even face my ex-best friend and lover.

I groan when my phone vibrates on my chest and I pick it up, '_James Diamond get you're fucking ass up and over there to work this shit out. You are the only one who can. He listens to you.' _ Pft, yeah right.

Believe it or not, Logan can get scary when you really piss him off and I know that it's the right thing to do, though, that doesn't mean that I'm happy about it so I send him back a quick '_…fine_' before I roll out of bed and get dressed.

**Kendall**

I jump when I hear a light knocking on the door and raise an eyebrow, no one ever knocks, who the hell could it be? I look down at myself in just my green and black plaid pajama pants and shrug. It doesn't matter if the other person sees me half naked, right?

I trudge down the stairs to the door and as soon as I open it I close it in James' face before turning and walking away, though I know he will come in anyway. My theory is proven correct as I make my way back up the stairs and I hear the door open and close behind me, soon footsteps following me up the stairs. What the fuck? Why can't I just be left alone to slowly die from heartache and shame?

I walk into the kitchen and grab a cup before filling it with water from the fridge. I chug it, place it in the sink before heading to the back of the house where my room is located. James follows close behind like my shadow but neither of us say a word. I want to know how long this can go on before he gets pissed and speaks first.

I act as if he isn't there and I look threw my drawers and closet pulling out my outfit for the day, taking my time. I don't acknowledge him as I place everything down on the bed and I know he is growing angry because he has his arms crossed, hip cocked, and foot tapping with annoyance.

I have to fight a smirk when I notice how he stills when I pull down my pants and boxers slowly redressing in front of him. Not like he hasn't seen it all before. I turn to my mirror to quickly make sure that my hair isn't too disheveled when he finally speaks, "Kendall, you can't ignore me forever."

"I can try," I reply in a flat voice as I push past him and out of my room, heading for the kitchen. He follows close behind.

"Kendall, you act like I'm the bad guy. I know that it was hard to think that I was going to be faithful because of my past but you didn't even give me a fucking chance." I stop dead in my tracks, turning to him, rage already starting to flare.

"Don't say those words!" I scream back at him, the worst part is that I know it's true; I never did really give him the right chance. I'm the one that pushed him away because I'm fighting my own personal issues, ones that he will never understand, and ones that no one will ever understand. We both take a step closer to each other.

"No, I never touched another person why you were gone Kendall! You are the first person that I ever came to actual terms with loving. The first person I told those three words to. I love you so much." He is pleading with me now and I'm slowly crumbling, just like I always do. The night before I left I told myself that I would never sub come to James Diamond again but the second that he was in my bed with me I did and I didn't think twice about it and he left me.

I'm taking another step towards him, and there is a short distance between us now and I feel as if my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. When I speak my voice is shallow and soft, and I'm falling right back into him, "Take it back." I wish I could sound how my mind wants me to act.

James took the last step that was between us so that there are only inches separating us. I could barely move and be able to touch him, "No, Kendall, I won't take it back! I need you and I know you need me to. I know that you love me just as much as I love you!" He is yelling but I won't back down.

"You know you don't mean that!" I yell back. I barely have a chance to react before James is wrapping me in his arms and pulling me against his firm chest, "No, let me go! Don't touch me!" I'm saying the words but my body is making no effort to tear away from him, if anything it's begging for him. My heart is begging for him even though my body and voice are screaming no. I'm clutching to the front of his shirt, silently and stupidly begging him to stay and never let go.

**James**

Every word that he is saying to me I know is a battle. He is fighting me so hard but I know that I'm not letting him go without fighting right back. I know that I might get hit; I'm surprised he honestly hasn't decked me anyways, but I chance it. I gently place my finger under his chin and force him to look up at me, though his eyes don't mean mine. He is looking at my lips and my gaze shifts to his.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and I've made my final decision as I lock lips with his.

I will fight for him, and I will win him, no matter what I have to do.

**Well, at this point I'm just going with the flow. I'm not quite sure where exactly this is going so it's a big surprise for us all! If you have any ideas or suggestions please tell me! Thank you for every review and I love reading them, whether good or bad, so keep them coming! Winterschild11 I hope that I have answered your review in this chapter some. I know that you keep telling me the same thing so I hope that this fixes that! Anyways, yeah, review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Carlos**

"Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"I feel really bad."

I can't see through the darkness but I feel Logan shift in my arms so that he would be looking at me. I just keep my eyes closed as I pull him in closer to me.

"What do you feel bad about?" He replies in a soft voice. As if he doesn't know.

"Going after Kendall the way I did. I knew I shouldn't have done it but I just got so pissed thinking about everything that had happened." I pause, my heart breaking; I've never done anything like this before. I wait for him to say something but when he doesn't I continue, "I guess I had just kept it bottled up inside and kept telling myself everything was ok until I just exploded."

He lay's his head back down on my chest and I tighten my arm around his waist, trying to pull him even closer to me, though I don't think it's possible. "I mean, I understand why you did it. I don't blame you." Another pause, "Why are you just now talking about this? It's been like three days."

I shrug gently so that I don't hurt him, "Eh, I guess it's just been nagging at me and I'm just now getting my shit together."

Logan nods and I have nothing else to say so I snuggle farther down into the bed and pull the blankets farther over our bodies, "goodnight, babe. I love you."

I smile when he kisses my chest and whispers, "I love you too, sweetheart."

**Logan**

Even after Carlos falls asleep I remain awake. Damn him for waking me up when I was almost asleep. Though, now that he has brought it up I can't help but think about what Kendall had said. I knew that he was having a hard time but whenever he came around us he seemed fine. There were only very few times when he would let his walls down around us and one of those times I made sure that he wasn't cutting again. He always goes for the hips.

I feel the guilt rise in me when I think about one day when Kendall had changed his shirt in front of me before we went to work and I thought that he was skinnier than usual. Did I even think about asking him if he was eating enough or think twice when he told me that he wasn't hungry, nope, because I'm the horrible friend.

I place my hand on the center of Carlos' chest and rub gentle circles into the tan skin. His flesh warm against my cold fingertips. I move my leg so that it's intertwined between his and he shifts whispering my name before he squeezes me. Ugh, he is strong.

**Kendall**

I have no idea how long I have been sitting in the bath tub but it's been long enough for the once scolding water to have turned cold. I have my hands clasped under my thighs, forehead resting on my knees, and my eyes closed. My music is blaring but I'm not listening to it anymore. My shins are stinging from the cutting I've done. I cut twice when I was in Michigan and the moment I'm back here that's what I do. Why is everything so fucked up and confusing?

All of my emotions are numb and my mind is pretty much blank. My body shivers from the cold water and air. I just want someone with me, and I know who that someone is. I'm not sure how he will respond since I haven't talked to him in three days. I just know that if I lose James then I lose Logan and Carlos. I've gotten over what Carlos had done and I don't want to lose them. They are everything to me. I'm now on a mission to get James.

I lean forward to pull the plug from the bottom of the tub and watch as the water flows from it. I stand, making sure to grab the broken plastic razor protector, and step out of the tub, grabbing the towel. I quickly dry myself before I put on a pair of boxer brief and my pajama pants. I swing the towel around my shoulders to keep me warm on my way to my room before grabbing my phone and the dirty clothes that litter the floor.

I'm in my room quickly tossing my clothes and towel in the direction of the clothes hamper, throw my phone on my bed, throw the plastic in the garbage, shut off the light, and climb quickly under the covers shielding myself from the cold. Probably should have put on a shirt, too late now, not getting out of this bed.

I grab my phone and bring up James' contact information, and I just stare at his name. This is probably a really bad idea, but honestly, things couldn't get any worse than they already are, so why the hell does it matter if I do this or not. I'm not going to do anything with him. I think back on the other day when he held me in the hallway and even though I told him to let me go he didn't. He kissed me and that is how I know that no matter what he is still my best friend. I hate to admit it but he is right, I do need him.

Before I think any more I press call and have the phone resting against my ear. It rings a few times before he picks up and says, "Hello?" His voice is rough from sleep, still just as sexy as ever. I can't help but smile a bit. God, I miss him so fucking much.

"James, can you come over?" I ask and my voice is also rough, though, that's because I'm talking around a lump in my throat. I refuse to let any tears fall. I'm not that person.

"Kendall, are you-"

"James, please, just come over." I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. I'm not going to let him ask me that when he knows very well that I'm not ok.

"Yeah, I'm on my way." And he hangs up.

**James**

I let out a groan as I push the blankets off of me. I was so warm and asleep. Though, as always, not matter what, when Kendall call's I go running. Fuck my life.

I throw on a shirt, some socks before I grab my phone, wallet, and keys. I turn off my light and shut my door realizing that mom and dad are already in bed.

I move towards the kitchen navigating through the dark before I stub my toe on the side of the couch. I drop my things and it makes a huge ruckus as I grab onto my foot and bite my lip to hold back a yelp of pain. I turn when I see the hallway light come on and my dad is standing there watching me.

"James, what the hell are you doing?"

I stomp my foot, yes, I'm throwing a hissy fit, before I growl out between my teeth, "I'm going to Kendall's and I was going to leave a note before I kicked the fucking couch."

"James Diamond, watch that language with me." He warns before he turns and goes back to bed. I just roll my eyes.

I grab my coat pulling it on, stuffing my things into the pockets before I head out the door and to my car. My entire way over to Kendall's I don't touch the radio, which is weird for me, because I'm too deep in thought about why he would be calling me at fucking one-thirty in the morning. I only get about five minutes to ponder this before I'm in his driveway and turning off the engine. I sit for a moment to gain my composure. Why am I nervous? I shake my head and jump out of my car pushing all thoughts aside.

I walk into his house, noticing that everyone here is also in bed since there aren't any lights on and I make my way into his room. I don't knock, just gently push it open and step inside before closing it once more behind me. I can see through the pale blue lights in his room that he is watching me and I move to turn on the light but he stops me, "No, please, just lay down with me."

I don't resist, just nod, his voice is so broken, but I doubt he's been crying. That's just not him, unless he is pissed like the other day, though, I guess anything is possible. I notice that his TV isn't on, it's always on when he goes to bed, and it's always on MTV, why? I haven't figured that out yet.

I pull off my jacket and shirt, letting them hit the floor before I kick off my shoes and remove my socks. I take slow steps to the bed and he moves over for me to get in and he holds the blankets up for me to slide under them.

As soon as I'm settled he is against me. His arms are crossed over his chest in almost a protective manner, his forehead in the crook of my neck, and legs tangled with mine. I just wrap both arms around him, holding him tight.

I let a few minutes pass before I speak, my voices low enough to make sure that I don't break him if I speak to loud, "Kendall, babe, pl-"

He pushes his hand flat against my chest signaling me to stop, "Please, just hold me tonight, we'll talk in the morning."

I just nod before I close my eyes and I go to sleep focusing only on how amazing it feels to have him sleeping in my arms again.

**Ok, so I know it's short and that not a lot happened but it's setting up the next chapter. This chapter was inspired by the song 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder. Anyways, tell me what you think! Any ideas please let me know! Please! How you all enjoyed it! **


	6. Chapter 6

**James**

I felt movement beside me before a body curled into my chest. I nuzzled into the soft hair and breathed in deep loving how Kendall smelt. I ran my fingers through his hair with my left hand while I wrapped my right arm around his shoulders bringing him in closer to me.

I know that we have a lot to talk about but I have no idea where to start, I have no idea what to say, so I just lay here finally enjoying what I couldn't for so long. Even if things are all wrong, it still feels so right to hold him. It has always felt right to have him here next to me, even before we were anything. I have no idea what to call us now. Fuck, I'm so confused.

I take in a deep breath before it cuts off when I feel his lips against my sternum. I bite my lip letting my breath come from my nose, "Kendall," I moan out as I feel his teeth graze across my skin. I know where this is going and I know it's so wrong. I've never felt bad about having sex with anyone before, but like everything, it's different with Kendall; how I feel for him, how I would never leave him, how I would do anything to keep him.

I feel his lips drag across my chest before I push him onto his back and lean over him crashing my lips to his in a desperate attempt to get closer to the blonde. His lips are so soft against mine and I love being able to taste him again. I break away from him and I look down at his body, god he is gorgeous. I meet his green eyes again and he is watching my every move, though I can't tell what he is thinking or feeling; I hate how he hides from me, how he hides from everyone.

I gently brush my thumb over his cheek bone before tracing my fingertips over his jaw, lifting his chin, before I dive down to his neck sucking and nipping, doing my best to leave my mark on his body. He throws his head back for me and his breathing becomes slightly more labored. I trace his body with my lips and tongue, paying special attention to each nipple. I look up at him through my eyelashes to see him watching me intently as I drag my lips over the sensitive skin down the center of his stomach, over his bellybutton, before I close my eyes and suck at the point of his hip just above the waistband of his pants. I know what he is thinking, and he is praying that I don't say anything about the pale lines that cover his hips and I can feel them against my lips as I brush over them gently. God, why did you let him hurt himself? Why couldn't I have been there to help him? Because I'm a shitty friend, that's why.

I look back up at him as I detach my lips from his skin and he has his eyes closed now, head thrown back, and mouth open slightly. I move so that I'm straddling his hips and he doesn't once open his eyes as I run my fingertips up his forearms and lace my fingers with his on either side of his head.

I watch him for a moment before he opens his eyes and looks at me, god they are a gorgeous color. I feel like I should say something but I still haven't found the right words so I just whisper, "Kendall, I love you." He doesn't react right away and I can feel my heart begin to pound in my chest and my stomach does summersaults, fuck what did I just do? But then he shows me the faintest of smiles and I smile back at him before kissing him deeply, I squeeze his hands as I lick at his bottom lip begging for entry, he grants it. I can't help but moan as I map out his mouth and I grind down on him, earning a beautiful gasp from him.

I sit back up on his hips and he is watching me again, and I don't take my eyes from his as I scoot down his legs. I grip his hips and examine them, making sure there aren't any new gashes there, thankfully there aren't.

My thoughts flash back to a few days ago when we both let everything out. He said everything he was feeling to Carlos while I held him back from beating the shit out of the poor kid, ok no; Carlos kind of deserved it, though I can see where they are both coming from, kind of. I also told him everything that was on my chest so maybe we will be ok, maybe everything will fall into place. Maybe we can look past everything and start over.

I continue to scoot until I begin to bring the hem of his pants down and I glance back up at him, he looks nervous. Just go slow James, he'll tell you to stop if he has to. Though, I don't want to stop, I want to show him how I'm feeling, how I'm hoping for us, for the sake of both of our mental stability.

I reveal his thighs, and I'm sure he knows what I'm looking for and so far so good, just a little bit farther and it's all good.

**Kendall **

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I watch James' every move. I'm terrified and I'm hoping that he will deem me clean and come back to kiss me before he sees what I had done to my shins the night before. I never thought in a million years I would be here doing this right now, but he is being so sweet, and I believe him when he tells me he loves me now. How could I not, after everything he said to me? God, I need this boy in my life.

He begins to pull the fabric over my knees and I sit up in a panic and I grip his hair pulling him in to kiss me forcefully. I can't have him see this, not now, not when everything is working out for once, or at least for the moment it seems that everything is working out.

"Eager, aren't we babe?" He asks in flirty voice with a smile.

I just smile back at him before I pull my legs from under him and kneel on my knees pulling my pants off of my ankles so that my shins were in the mattress, I had to make sure he didn't see these. We move towards each other on our knees. Once I was close enough I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought our lips together once again. This time it wasn't forceful but another gentle kiss. I smiled into it as I felt him grip my hips, pulling my body to his so that there wasn't any gap between our skin. God it feels so good to be back with him again. I waited months for this!

Before I know what is happening he has me on my back and my feet are flat on the mattress, "James," I screech out, one, because I wasn't expecting it, and two, because I'm panicking.

He sits up on his heels quickly from the shock of me yelling at him before his eyes land on what I was trying so hard to hide. I relax because I don't have to worry about him finding out anymore and I'm able to breath. I feel myself sink into the mattress and I stare at my white ceiling.

"Kendall," his voice is a soft whisper, and I feel so fragile. Why am I so fucking weak? Guys aren't supposed to be this weak, we aren't supposed to sink this low, but obviously shit happens.

I flinch slightly when I feel him touch my cuts, really, James, don't touch them, they still hurt. I don't say anything to him though; I just let it all sink in. He runs his hands over my thigh and up my side before he kisses me cheek.

He begins to get off the bed and I shoot up looking at him with horrified eyes, "James." God damn, even my voice is weak, only a whisper. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home." He begins to redress, "Kendall, I know that it's wrong to tell you that you just have to stop and that it's not that easy, but you have to try."

I look down because that's not something I could promise. I could easily cross my fingers and say 'I promise' to Logan or Carlos but not James. Fuck James and all of his….um…his…ah just fuck him!

He is fully dressed when I finally break out of my thoughts and look back up to him, "Kendall," He pauses to let out a sigh, "can you promise me that you'll stop? Or at least put in a good effort to stop."

I look away again and don't say anything. He waits for a moment before he lets out another sigh of defeat, "Fine, whatever. I'm here for you when you decide that you will actually talk to me." He opens my door and before he is about to shut it he whispers, "Remember, you can tell me anything."

I bring my knees to my chest and rest my forehead on my arms. I knew things were going to well.

**Logan**

"Hel-"

"Logan! Ugh, can you go and talk to Kendall. He won't fucking talk to me."

"Uh, hi James." I am in slight shock but I shake it off before asking, "Why? What happened?"

"Logan, he is cutting _again _and he wouldn't even look at me when I asked him to promise me not to cut again. I even told him as long as you try everything will be fine and that I was there for him and all that happy shit and he wouldn't even talk to me."

Ok, James is pissed and ranting. I get out of bed, since you know it's almost eleven o'clock and I've just been watching TV. I should probably be getting a text from Carlos soon anyways, "Yeah, I can go over there and see what he is up to."

"Oh, don't tell him I called you, that would just piss him off." I heard his car door slam. God, I hate it when he talks on the phone and drives. He does it all the time.

"Fine, I'll tell him I just dropped by on my way to 'Los'." I put the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I pull on a pair of clean briefs and jeans.

"Thanks bud. Will I see you later?"

I quickly tugged my shirt on before responding, "Yeah, probably. I'll text you with what goes down with Kendall."

"Ok, thanks, I owe you big."

"No prob." I hang up and throw my phone on my bed. Well, once again, I'm really reconsidering the people I call my friends.

**I'm so so so sorry it has taken me this long to get another chapter up! Writers block plus school and work just don't get along very well. And I'm sorry again for it being a short chapter. I have idea's for the next one but I thought that it would then be too long. I really appreciate any and all feedback. Any ideas or suggestions tell me! I wanna know what you guys are thinking! I really hope you guys are enjoying this! **


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I wanna apologize for being a horrible human being and neglecting this story. I know not much happens here but I'm setting up for the next chapter where Kendall will hopefully start to get his shit together. I have not forget about the people who favorite or follow or comment on this story. I love you all! Let me know what you think, if you have ideas, want me to add something DO NOT hesitate to tell me please! Anyways, enjoy! I'll be starting the next chapter tonight so that I can't neglect it. I promise! **

**Carlos **

My phone rings next to me indicating I have a text. I look at the clock and see that I've slept in quite late. It's past ten o'clock. I open the text that I had received from Logan and quickly read it, '_Goin over to Kendall's. Can you and James meet us at Coney Island at 12:30? And I love you babe.' _

I smile at the last part of the text and quickly typed back my response, '_Yeah, that's fine. I'll go to James' now then. Love ya too babe. ' _

As soon as I send that text I'm bringing up another one to send to James as a heads up, '_Takin a shower then I'll be over, you're ass better be up.' _

I jump up not waiting for an answer from James before I grab a clean pair of boxer briefs, a clean dark blue graphic t-shirt, and a pair of jeans, before heading down the hall to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Twenty minutes later I'm pulling on a pair of socks before slipping into my shoes. I pat down my pockets making sure that I have my phone and wallet before going into the kitchen to find my mom cooking, God, she is a wonderful cook, too bad I have plans to eat already.

"Hey, mom," I say as I give her a quick peck on the cheek before running up to grab a piece of toast that is sticking out of the toaster.

"Hey, Carlos," She looks up at me before scowling, "What did I tell you about not getting a plate before eating. You know I hate that. And where are you going?"

"I know mom, I'm going over to James' so I'm gonna eat on the road." I say as I munch on the toast that I have and lean against the counter...So much for not eating.

"Fine whatever," She replies with an eye roll before turning back to the eggs in the frying pan, "And what do you and James have planned for the day?"

"Eh, we are gonna meet Kendall and Logan at Coney Island for something to eat." I say with a shrug before pushing off the counter taking in the last bite. Though, to be honest, I'm a little nervous. I'm not sure if I should tell James what is about to go down or not.

I pull out my phone and text Logan, '_Are you tellin Kendall that James is going to be there?'_

I give mom a quick hug before I head for the door, "I'll text you with what my plans are for later tonight."

"Ok, love you Carlos." My mom screams and I scream it back before shutting the door.

I breath in the warm air as I walk through the garage then to my car before hopping in and pulling my phone out of my pocket. Neither Logan nor James have texted me back yet, though, James doesn't surprise me. I love that boy but damn he can sleep.

I drop my phone between my legs, turn on my car, and back out of my driveway and making the quick five minute drive down the road to the Diamond residence.

I pull into the driveway, parking behind James' car so that I don't block his parents in and jump out of my car taking large steps towards his front door. I'm here so often that I don't knock and just go on in. I toe off my shoes and see that Mrs. Diamond is in the living room watching some cooking show. I say a quick hello before heading down the small hall to James' room. I open the door to see him shirtless and sprawled out on his stomach.

I stare at him with my eye brows raised before I slowly walk over to him and rip the sheet off of him.

"Oh, my God!" I scream as I cover my eyes, "Why are you naked?"

"Carlos! Oh, my God! What are you doing?" We are both screaming as he jumps out of the bed and goes to his dresser to grab clothes.

"I texted you that I was coming over." He doesn't answer me and when I hear the band of the boxers snap against his waist I ask "Are you decent yet?"

"Yeah." He grumbles and I turn and drop my hands before taking in a deep breath.

"Well, that was not what I was expecting to see this morning." I have now completely forgotten why I was coming over here, "Oh, yeah, get dressed."

He stares at me like I've grown two heads. I'm pretty sure James has something about bein naked…I wonder what gives me that idea. I roll my eyes at my thoughts.

"What?" He asks in a snippy tone. This may be harder than predicted.

"Because, um," I pause and look out the window behind him and he doesn't miss it before I continue, "I'm takin you to lunch." Not a lie! I can't exactly say 'give me a sec while I check my texts to see what to tell you'.

"Carlos…"

"…James?"

He stares at me again before shaking his head and turning back to his dresser to pull clothes out, "Do I have time for a shower?" he gathers his clothes and I grab the sheet off of his floor before laying on his bed grabbing the remote and turning on his TV. God knows how long it will take James to get ready.

"Yeah," Just as he is about to walk out of his room without another word I get the balls to say, "Who the hell pissed in your Cheerio's today?"

He turns to look at me like I'm crazy for the millionth time this morning and screams, "you!" before shutting his door. I flinch when I hear him slam the bathroom door. Though, I can't help but laugh. What a drama queen.

**Logan**

"Kendall! Are you ready yet?"

"Yes! I'm just putting on my shoes."

I roll my eyes and gulp down the last of my water before putting the cup in the sink. I turn when I hear his footsteps behind me, "Damn, about time." I check the clock on the stove and we've got about 20 minutes before we have to meet Carlos and James.

"You know, I don't understand why we _have _to go out. What's wrong with what I cook?" Kendall asks aggravated, already aggravated…not a good thing, as he ties his shoes using more force than necessary.

"Because I want to have a good lunch with my best friend, is that so wrong?" I reply back as I walk towards the door trying to usher him out.

"What happened to Carlos?" He asks finally making it to the garage.

"Oh, him? I'll see him later." I giggle nervously because I'm now starting to get nervous that this may be a bad idea, especially since we're surprising them. I clear my throat when he looks at me with suspicion. Oh, God, please help me.

"Uh huh…"

The ride to the restaurant is a quiet one, which is good because that way I can prepare myself.

As I pull into the parking space I pull the key out of the ignition before unbuckling my seatbelt and just as I'm about to open my door I realize that Kendall hasn't moved, "Uh, in case you haven't noticed, we're here."

I watched as Kendall shook his head, "I know. I'm just thinking." His voice was low as if he was still lost in thought.

I don't really know what to say. I'm never good with this. This is why I have Carlos. "Whatcha thinkin about, buddy?"

He shrugs as he speaks, "Eh, just shit. I've only been back for like a week and I feel like my life fell apart just as it was when I left." He paused to give a dark chuckle before continuing, "Though, what the fuck was my mother thinking sending me away like that? What is she trying to teach me? To run away from my problems? That's not the fucking answer" He turns towards me, his voice rising, "I came back and everything is just as fucked up as when I left, Logan. I still had to come back and I still have to fix everything."

I look down at my lap because I once again don't know what to say so I just go with what first comes to mind, "Kendall, maybe you should just get you're jobs back. That's a start right? I mean, at least the stable, that way you have a place to go where you don't have to worry about a bunch of shit," Ha, shit, he scoops shit…probably shouldn't say that. I shake my head before continuing, "It will probably make you feel better, like you're starting to get your life back together and things will fall into place."

He seems to consider it for a while as he turns to face the windshield again. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pull it out seeing a text from James, '_Hey were here' _I look towards the entrance and sure enough Carlos' car is pulling into the drive. Kendall wants to get his shit together, well, we will start here.

"Alright, let's go eat before your brain explodes from thinking too hard."

We both exit the vehicle and I quickly usher him into the restaurant, I want to sit down before he spots James. That way he can't run away. I catch the sign that says 'please seat yourself' so we select a booth.

I take off my hoodie as Kendall sits before I sit on the edge of his side of the booth.

"What are you doing?" He asks staring at me in surprise.

"What I'm not allowed to sit next to you?" I ask and behind him out the window I see the other two walking into the door so I shove him over in the seat so that he can't escape, unless he goes over or under the table…honestly wouldn't surprise me.

I watch as he sees James and he is trying to push me out of the seat, "Logan, let me out, I'm walking home."

"Kendall, you're getting you're shit together, remember?" I say to him quietly as I throw my hand over his mouth to shut him up. I keep it there as Carlos approaches and leans down to give me a kiss, though, Kendall reaches up and pinches me under the bicep and I jump, accidently biting Carlos' lip. I bring my arm back to my side and rub the stinging spot before I turn to Kendall and complain, "Really, that is baby fat."

He rolls his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest and staring at James who is now sitting across from him…Good God.


	8. Chapter 8

**Kendall**

I looked up when I saw our waitress coming our way, "Hi there, guys, I'm going to be you're server today, my name is Marie. What can I get you all to drink?"

I watched as she looked at each of us taking our order before walking away to fill them.

I suddenly felt out of place when Logan and Carlos got lost in their own world, or course. I pulled out my phone because I didn't know what else to do in the awkward situation, and because I don't know what to do about James.

After two whole minutes of staring at Facebook I couldn't stand the feeling of eyes on me anymore and I looked up at James who I know was staring at me the entire time, he looks annoyed, "What?" I say to him as I shrug my shoulders acting as if nothing is wrong.

"Don't 'what' me, Kendall, you know what." He snapped back at me. Ok, yup, James is pissed.

"James, can we not do this right now?"

"No. Because then you won't ever do it, Kendall. I'm not gonna sit back anymore and watch you slip away from me." He leans forward with his forearms on the table, hands splayed flat; all I can do is stare at his hands. I'm terrified, though I won't admit it, "Kendall," his voice is much softer and I lock eyes with him, "please, even if we can't be together, be my best friend again. We both know that we need each other and we are just tearing ourselves apart." His eyes are pleading with me, and I have a feeling that this is a last ditch effort to get through to me.

I have no idea what to say or do, I just place my phone face down on the table and fold my hands in my lap looking down at the yellow table top, gross color.

I watch James lean back into the booth when the waitress sets the drinks in front of us, to be honest, I completely forgot where I was and that Logan and Carlos were with us. I have no idea if they are even paying attention to us.

"Are you boys ready to order?" She asks with a smile and cheery voice.

As she talks to the others I think about what James had said and let it sink in. I don't want to ever lose him, but I don't know what I want with him. Then a thought hits me, if I don't take him, someone else will. Could I really live with myself every day knowing that he would be the one that got away? Fuck no! Ugh, I know that James has always been there for me. I don't exactly have to make a decision right now. I know that we are perfect as friends; we only fell apart when we took it farther. Maybe, just maybe, if we go back to being friends we can work a relationship out.

She then gets to me, breaking me out of my planning, and I tell her that I want the Chef Salad, though, I'm not really hungry. When she walks away James seems to be stuck in his own thoughts, staring down at the ugly yellow table, his face blank.

I suddenly feel panicked and the need to be touched and I look at Logan before it hits me. No, I can't go to Logan. Yes, I love him to death and I would do anything for him, he is an amazing friend, but he isn't my best friend. My best friend is sitting across from me and I'm tearing him apart because I'm fucking stubborn. This shit has got to stop and Logan is right, everything is going to fall apart if both James and I don't get our shit together.

I'm suddenly thinking back to a talk that I had with Logan and Carlos. I had told them that James could tell me anything and that I could tell him anything, it's not like that anymore, and that needs to change. We need to recover our friendship before we can do anything else.

I now have to get my best friend back by opening up to him and going to him with my problems like I used to, talk to him like I used to, and always be by his side. I reach my hand out to him, ok maybe this isn't exactly what we would have done but it feels right, silently asking him for his hand. He stares at me and I know that he is hesitant to do this so I smile at him slightly, trying to tell him that it's ok.

He cracks a small smile of his own before he reaches out to me and we interlace fingers. I'm aware that Logan and Carlos have stopped talking and I know that they are watching us. I'm sure that they are proud of their work.

Before I know what is going on James bends my fingers back and I feel them crack, a chocked scream leaving me because of the shock and slight pain. I pull my hand back to my chest and cradle it. I see Logan drop his forehead into the palm of his hand out of the corner of my eye, and before I have a chance to say anything the waitress is back with our food and placing it in front of us.

I glare up at James and he is already eating a fry while glaring back at me.

**James**

"Was that really necessary?" Carlos asks me as I drop down onto my bed staring at the ceiling.

"What? He was being an ass. He deserved it after all this shit we have been going through. He's lucky that's all I did." Yes, I'm pissed. I know that I must have gotten through to him, even if it was a little bit because he sure as hell wouldn't have done that before I said anything, I don't think. Honestly, I feel like I don't even know my best friend anymore. Yeah, Carlos and I are close, but he could never be what Kendall is to me, or at least was. I'm not sure if we will ever go back to the way we were.

I feel the bed sink beside me and I look to my right to see that Carlos has collapsed next to me before I stare back up at the ceiling like he is, "you know he was trying, James. You are both confused and need to work through this together because you are never going to get anywhere without the other."

I look at him again with my brows pulled together and I wait for him to look at me before saying, "When the hell did you become so mature?" He rolls his eyes and slaps my chest laughing. I rub my chest breathing out an "ow" while laughing along with him.

X x X

I had just gotten out of the shower when I was heading back to my room. I threw on a pair of boxers and pajama pants before quickly drying my hair with my towel before dropping it on the floor. I'll pick that up tomorrow.

I slowly walk around my room turning on my T.V. before I turn off my light and climb into bed. I get comfortable before grabbing my phone off the table next to my bed and check it. Much to my surprise I have a text from Kendall.

I feel my heart pick up the pace before I open the text and it's just a simple 'hey.'

I look at the time that he had sent it and see that I was still in the shower when I received it. I check the time and see that it's about eleven so I'm sure that he is still awake so I send back a quick 'hey'

I roll over so that I'm on my back and rest my phone on my chest waiting impatiently for Kendall's response. I can still feel my chest pounding in my chest and I quickly turn off my television because it's just noise now that Kendall is talking to me, kind of.

I jump when I feel my phone vibrate against my skin and I quickly check it, 'whatcha doin?'

Really Kendall, you couldn't come up with something better than that? Though, this is usually how our conversations start, 'Just got into bed after a shower. What about you?'

I let my eyes close in the dark and take a few deep breaths, and it does seem to help some. My phone vibrates, his response coming faster than the last, and I pick up the phone while it still vibrates in my hand. I see his name across the screen indicating that he is calling me instead of texting me back.

I quickly slide my thumb across the screen so that I don't miss his call and press the phone to my ear. Everything around me is so quiet even the other end of the line and I speak quietly afraid that my voice will cause a natural disaster if spoken to loudly, "Hey."

He takes a moment to reply, though I know he's there, "Hey" I don't know what to say and I know that he wouldn't call me if he didn't have something to say so I give him time to get his thoughts together, "Um…I'm sorry." I can hear him moving on the other side of the phone and I know that he is nervous.

I roll over onto my side. I know exactly what he is sorry for though I want him to elaborate and telling me exactly what he is thinking, "What are you sorry for?" My voice is still quiet though it holds some venom that I wasn't expecting.

"James, you know what I'm sorry for." I don't answer signaling for him to go on, "I know that I was being difficult and I know that I was wrong. I was wrong for so much. I had finally gotten you and I didn't know what to do after that. I feel like we just moved so fast and it scared me." He stops and takes a deep breath, "Please James, like you said earlier, 'even if we can't be together, be my best friend again.' Please."

Now that the little bastard has used my own words against me I don't know what to say, just like he didn't earlier. But you know, this is a big step for us, we're talking, "James? Please, say something." Shit, I know how much he hates that.

"Kendall, we will work something out. I promise. We won't give up on each other this easy. We're in this together, friendship or relationship." Jesus, I can't believe I just said that….how corny can I get?

I hear him laugh on the other end and my heart starts to pound again, I love his laugh, "Shut up! Don't laugh at me, Blondie!" I say though I know that he can hear my smile.

"Diamond! Don't you be calling me that, you know I hate it!"

"I know," My voice goes quiet again, "So, um, you wanna come over tomorrow? I mean, I gotta work in the afternoon but we can see each other in the morning?" I don't know why that came out as a question.

"Yeah, sure." He paused, "I'll talk to you tomorrow James."

"Bye, Kendall."

He hung up the phone and for some reason I felt as though I couldn't breathe. Shouldn't I be ecstatic that I have him back? Well, for the most part. Maybe it's because I just finally got him back, barely, and I'm scared that any time spent without him he could so easily slip away again.

But that's not gonna happen. Even he agreed that we will work at this, together, and we will make it through.

Friendship or relationship.

**Alright guys! I am proud to say that I got this chapter up a lot faster than the last. It was a lot easier to write and I think it's better than the last few chapters, but you guys are the judges! Let me know what you think. As always suggestions or ideas are welcome. Please leave your thoughts! Thank you! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow, ok, I'm doing good here. Another chapter! Please guys, I know I say this like every chapter but I do love you're feedback and it does help motivate me. I don't mind the constructive criticism and ideas. Please tell me what you think. It helps a lot. Any who…I hope you all like this chapter! **

**James **

"James, wake up!"

I don't move when Kendall yells at me. I'm so comfortable and warm in my bed. I'm on my stomach with the blanket wrapped tightly around my shoulders holding in the heat that radiates from my body.

"James."

"Go away." My voice is muffled by the pillow.

"I am not going away. You're the one that told me to come over!" He understood that? Hm.

I roll over so that I'm on my back and I look up at my favorite blonde in the entire world…ok, maybe he is my favorite blonde…that's beside the point! I watch him as he watches me, "What?" I ask feeling slightly awkward being stared at like this, though he looks annoyed.

He shakes his head before he speaks, "Nothing," He pauses and points at me, "you do have clothes on right?"

I roll my eyes but I can't help but let out a small laugh, "Yes, I am dressed" I say with a smile before I put my arm over my eyes and shut them again.

"You're not gonna get up any time soon are you?" Something about his voice sounds on edge but I make a point to act like I didn't notice.

"Nope, probably not."

He sighs and I listen as he moves a bit before I feel the bed dip beside me. My body stiffens and I wait for what is to come. I feel him crawl over me so that he is on my left side, glad he remembers that I hate being on the inside of the bed, and he curls into my side with his head on my chest. I take note of the hand that is splayed across my right pectoral. I take my lip in between my teeth when his fingers gently brush over my nipple.

I lower the arm that was draped over my eyes so that it's now resting around his shoulders and I pull him closer. My heart is racing in my chest and my mind is spinning. There is so much going on that I don't know what to take into consideration, maybe the fear, the urges, the way that my body is reacting to his touches.

I look down at him and his eyes are closed and he looks like he is concentrating on something as well, probably all the same things as me. I take in his beautiful features, the way his bangs sweep across his forehead, or the way that his eye lashes rest perfecting above his prominent cheek bones.

I lean my head back onto my pillow again and close my eyes. I know that I can't touch him…any more than I am now, hell, I shouldn't even be touching him this much. We need to fix things, and the way that it's going it's gonna end up the way it did in the first place. We need to start over, and this is definitely not starting over.

"James?" His voice is barely a whisper. I look down at him and he is staring at me with those mesmerizingly green orbs. I watch as he moves closer and his eyes are fixated on my lips. I want to stop him but I can't. I don't have the willpower for that. I've missed him in my arms like this so fucking much. It feels so right, though I know it's so wrong.

My eyes then fall to his lips and there's no stopping myself, all resolve is set free and I'm leaning in to meet him half way. What the fuck am I doing? I shouldn't do this! We shouldn't do, can't, do this! But I won't stop, not now.

Our lips meet and it's like I've been away from home for way to long and I finally get to sleep in my own bed again; warm, soft, and familiar. I push into him to deepen the kiss and squeeze his shoulders closer to my torso and his body heat is radiating. He runs his thumb over my nipple again and that is when I lose all clarity. I roll us so that I'm resting above him not once breaking my lips from his, besides to take a quick breath before we are attached again. I push my body down on his though I keep myself supported on one of my hands that is on the mattress next to his head while my other hand is wandering up his shirt.

I pull my lips from his and rest my forehead on his shoulder while he tangles his fingers in my hair while the fingertips of his other hard slowly trace down the center of my stomach. I lock my lip between my teeth once more and let out a deep growl when he lifts his leg that is against my crotch and it sends a shiver through my entire body.

I move my free hand up to his neck, using my thumb to push up his chin, before I attack his neck. I suck and nip at the sensitive tissue before I sooth it with my tongue. I am the one now to push my hips down into him and I feel his arousal against my thigh and that is when reality hits me like a fucking bus.

I jump away from him so that I'm on my knees and he is looking at me with shock, "Kendall! We can't do this." The shock quickly turns to hurt and betrayal and a piece of my heart breaks off, this is the way it is with us, right? Never simple, "We can't do this, babe." Shit, why did I say that? "We have to take things slow. Friends first, remember?"

"James, we never agreed on that." His voice is wavering but his eyes are piercing daggers.

"Kendall, you know that's how it's got to be." I wave my hand between us, "We will never be a thing if we don't start over completely."

I watch as he gets off the bed and moves towards the door, "You're right. We'll try again later, ok?" He opens my door and just before he closes it behind him he speaks again, "Oh, and have a good night at work, man." And the door clicks shut.

XxX

"Hey, I'm takin my 15." I say to one of the other nursing assistants as I pass by a room that she is working in. I hesitate until I hear an 'ok' from her before I head to the entrance of the hall that I'm on tonight, though I have no intention of going to the break room, I have a little Latino to find.

I go to the clipboard that tells us where we will be working that day and find Carlos' name under South: Hall 3. Oh, that sucks, rehab.

I finally make my way to that side of the building where I find Carlos sitting at a desk, the charting book in front of him.

"Hey, don't you have a shower to give or something?"

He rolls his eyes and scuffs before he replies, "Yeah, right, don't I wish. I have absolutely nothing to do until dinner comes in what, an hour and a half?" I sit on the table next to him as he slowly continues to chart, "Don't you have people to get up for dinner?" he asks glancing up at me.

"Nah, I'm on C tonight so I only had one person to get up." I shrug.

We fall into a silence for a moment before I get to the real reason why I came over here, "So, Kendall came over this morning."

Carlos puts down his pen and leans back into the chair with an eyebrow raised, "Alright, James, where's the body?"

I glare at him before I kick him lightly in the shin, though it's enough to get an 'ow' out of him, "Shut up." I say though I can't stop the smile, "Uh, we didn't fight. We kinda came to an agreement."

"An agreement?"

"Uh, yeah," I look down at my clasped hands, "After we made out."

"You kissed?!" Yup, this is what I was waiting for, though, I'm sure that Kendall has already told Logan and his reaction was more than likely priceless. If anyone's a murderer it's Kendall for sending Smarty into shock when he told him, "James. Didn't you two learn anything the first time?"

"Yeah, that was what we agreed on, to start over. Be friends then maybe more…Maybe!"

Carlos drops his head into his hands before mumbling, "My God, you two give me a headache."

XxX

I pulled my covers up and curled onto my side so that I could look at my phone. Kendall and I had talked for a while during my shift and we are finally starting to work things out. We had been fighting with and against each other for so long now that it's awkward to just talk, not to mention the fact that this morning did _not _turn out the way I hoped it would.

_"Hey, I'm really sorry about earlier" _

"don't worry about it. It's not like it was all your fault."

_"Maybe we could do something tomorrow?" _

_ "Just friends!" _

"Yeah, that would be great. This time I'll come to your house. We'll be fine. We're just friends"

_"Friends. Speaking of friends, what's the other half of the posse doing tomorrow?" _

"Eh, logan is working but los is off."

_"Ok, maybe he will wanna do something with us." _

"Yeah, maybe. Well I'm at work so I'll see ya tomorrow"

_"Ok, hope your night goes smooth…" _

"Friends"

_"Friends" _

Ok, so maybe we have a lot to work on, but we are working on it! We spent more than five minutes in a room together, by ourselves, and didn't tear into each other's throats, though; I might as well have been the way that I was practically consuming his neck earlier. Hm, he is so gorgeous. No! Diamond, get you're shit together!

I roll over on my stomach, positioning myself in a way that the mattress doesn't create a bothersome friction against my already agitated member, before I let out a loud groan into my pillow.

I'm so screwed.


End file.
